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Wednesday, 14 October 2020

Taking A Step Away

After some reflection, I think that I am going to have a break away from Twitter.

I need to take some time away from the conversations I have there, on the subjects that I do.  My views have not changed and they will not change, but Twitter is a beast that can control and take over you sometimes and I feel that this is a step I need to take.

I feel like I have talked about and been in the grip of talking about trans issues, self ID and Mermaids/the Tavistock and children every day for a couple of years now and I have forgotten that there are other things, other subjects. 

I get so angry sometimes at the things I read that it changes my day for the negative, usually before 9.00am and that is not healthy, especially when I have to be careful with myself with regard to mental health.

I also get so embroiled that sometimes I do not think before I post and say things that I regret.

A good friend reminded me yesterday that there are real people behind Twitter handles.  A friend that I have hurt by a couple of things I have retweeted/said.  Because I was still embroiled in the details over the Tavistock case, I retweeted and allowed myself to become part of hurtful language that I would not wish upon myself.  I did not think clearly when I posted and I regret the language used.

To qualify what I mean, I retweeted someone saying “it is not grooming to expect an 11 year old to know about orgasms you absolute weirdos”.  I called them fucking insane.

If I had looked back at their previous tweets, I would have known that they were talking about specifically about sex education.  It is important that children learn about their bodies and understand what sex is, if for no other reason than to understand if an adult did something to them, that they would know that it was wrong.

What I don’t believe and this is the hill I was coming from, is that children cannot possibly understand (or be expected to understand) the concept of losing something that they have never experienced.  In this case, an orgasm.  I can’t believe I am talking about children in relation to this, but this is where we are at.

Children as young as ten which is what was discussed in the Keira Bell case, are being asked to consent to puberty blockers with the long reaching possible outcomes not properly explained to them.  Subjects that they cannot possibly understand at that age.  Loss of fertility, lack of growth of genitalia, potential loss of orgasm, vaginal atrophy etc.

I believe that this is wrong.  But I do not believe that using words such as grooming, abuse and pedophilia is right, correct or just.   Using such words makes me no better than those who would abuse me and others online. 

Specifically in this case I did not look at the content of this woman’s tweet, which was specifically about education and instead jumped to attack, retweeting her words and calling her insane.  That was wholly wrong.

We, or at least I in this conversation have forgotten that it is healthy for children to learn about their bodies.  I have fallen so far down the rabbit hole of what the Tavistock is doing, that I could not see anything else.  

I’ve hurt a friend because of this and I’m truly sorry.

So I’m taking a step away from Twitter and the conversation for a while.  When I come back, I hope to re engage with the conversation and still continue to fight for what I believe; but without some of the vitriol I have used in the past and recently.

See you all in a while.